Knock Knock......Who is it ?

..........looking up the ladder its roughly twenty feet to the top, not exactly the height from which one dies when falling but who knows. I make my way up and with every rung of the ladder my body gets more tense and my grip much tighter. By time I reach halfway I feel as if I am twenty stories up as opposed to less than twenty feet. I hear a mumbling voice telling me to let go and throw myself to the ground, this voice is very faint and garbled but understandable. In my head I am challenging this voice and pushing it to a place where its muted. I keep making my way up the ladder. Now I am about four feet from the top and the voice in my head is pissed, screaming at me to end my shitty life and stop living in a world not worth living in, I hear nothing but this voice it consumes my entire body. I hear a different voice in the distance asking "Are you okay?", I look up and see a familiar face reaching his hand down to help me up. The screaming in my head becomes faint as the other voice says "Come on buddy, you are almost there", I reach out and touch his hand and a wave of reality runs through my body as I pull myself to the top.

Over Time......

I woke up around 3 a.m. with a thought that has been troubling me ever since, I have forgotten what my dads voice sounded like. My dad passed away in 1990 after suffering a heart attack years earlier. I have pictures to look at that bring back memories, but the voice is gone. It troubles me that I have forgotten the voice that I heard everyday for the first 20 years of my life. I can recall many actors voices...John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart and Jimmy Stewart to name a few, but I cannot remember my dads. My dad and I were not as close as I wished  but we know that we loved each other. One day we will see one another again and I will hear that voice I long to remember......I miss you dad.

Learn the rules of the road !!

Tips for driving by John

1. If you are in the left lane,,,get the fuck out of it if people are passing you on the right !
2. The steering wheel is not a resting place for food !
3. Use your fucking turn signals !
4. Turn signals do not give you the right to change lanes if it is occupied, the turn signal is to let the other drivers know what your intentions are, the other driver must let or give you permission to come over !
5. The yellow lines are always on the left of you, so if they are on the right your dumb-ass is driving the wrong way !
6. If pieces of your car are flapping in the wind ...fix it or burn it !
7. Get the hell off your cell phone !
8. Drive with respect to/for others !
9. I like my car so keep your dented piece of shit away from mine in parking lots !
10. Learn to read/speak English so you know what the fuck the signs say !!!
11. If you tailgate you will be shot !
12. Out of state plates are not a reason to drive like a moron, go three lanes over to exit or anything I deem stupid !

Here are a few changes I have made:

Ford Expedition is now a Ford Mexpedition --- the mexicans love the 1999 model
"     " Mextang ---- always have too much crap on it like those glue on fake tear drop vents on the fenders.
                                                                                                                                                                   I am sure I will come up with more soon.

Curled up in the darkness out of sight

A throw away child she cries throughout the night

She has never had anyone to tuck her in

unloved and abused since her life began

Made fun of , pushed and shoved

Her mind went dark, silent and gloved

Society was the evil she grew to hate

Becoming enraged she was someones fate

From a child to a woman she became

The fruits of her body she used with no shame

Flaunting her breasts showing some thigh

Tonight there will be another to die

She smiles laughs and licks her lips

Crosses her legs hands on her hips

She feels the excitement growing from within

Her victim has no idea a wolf in sheepskin

Flirting touching sending signals of lust

The plan is working she is building trust

A wink of an eye and the trap is set

Soon she will be dripping of blood and sweat

Society taught her how to hate

From a child to a woman sex was her bait

She does to others as was done to her

Leaving them empty without a soul

Now they hunt the streets for a killer

But to her its getting even for a life full of terror

Be careful when out for a good night

She still lurks with her breasts in full sight

Blue on Blue

Smiling doesn't mean I am happy

Crying doesn't mean I am sad

Being in a crowd doesn't mean I am not lonely

Being alone doesn't mean I am

Doing the right thing isn't always easy

The easy thing isn't always right

The way people see me

Is the way I want them to

Being me is not easy

Looking happy but feeling blue

I live with internal pain

For reasons not known to me

Maybe inside there is the answer

I want to set it free

Smiling in the dark

Is like crying in the rain

No matter what I feel like

No one sees the pain

Doing the right thing isn't always easy

The easy thing isn't always right

Her Wings of Love

Peering out of the darkness waiting in the shadows

I feel its presence, hatred and horror

Hair on end ears are ringing

Only moments away from horrific things

Breathing elevates sight becomes narrowed

Painful torture is taking over

Perspiring stench takes over the room

Hearing every little noise near and far

I did it again after promising to stop

She no longer listens she has had enough

Things are not as easy as they seem

Just saying I won’t is so fucking lame

What was it in me that made me begin

Living with the craving from within

To think that a substance can control who I am

No way not me is what I want to say

In life there are things we want to change

Oh Lord please take this out of me

I blame only me for my shortcomings in life

The best part of me is my wife

She protects, nurtures and loves me for me

She hates what I do but not who I am

Love has kept my heart going on

For without her I know I would be gone

Saying thank you is not enough

I fall to my knees pray and look up

Feeling the freedom is yet to come

In my heart I know she is the one

God has put her in my life

She is My Angel, she is my wife

SPU

Keeping stride with the mind of reason in an out of control society is like walking an alligator through a minefield using a spaghetti strand for a leash. Nothing seems to be making sense in this world except selling out for power and money. You will be almost totally unsuccessful at finding a large company that is employee dedicated or friendly. Yeah sure in the beginning it all seems nice until the head honchos see their bonuses dwindling down to a measly million or so. The first thing the “company” cut was giving out turkeys for Thanksgiving followed by pink slips for Christmas. However, on the infield of the NASCAR tracks, the Zamboni on the Hockey rink, the many sponsored sporting events through out the year there is this same company spending hundreds of million on advertising. Their responses to these are it’s a tax write off!

Companies want good hard working loyal employees yet they treat them like dirt when things get tough. A certain office is shutting down which will leave around 100 people without jobs this year. I can understand it if there is a downsizing that has to happen, but the company just hired 15 – 20 temps to work at an office not five miles away, and to make things worse the rest of the jobs are being outsourced to India. It’s a typical move for sorry ass companies these days. If I were in charge of this nation I would make it very expensive for companies to move out of America to foreign soil just to pay cheaper labor. In port taxes would be insane, all imports would have to have factory inspections and legitimate paperwork to ensure safety and humane working conditions. Sending jobs over seas and putting “our” people out of work is not the answer.

One thing that strikes me as ironic is that people that work in fast food are sometimes stereo typed as stupid, uneducated or lazy. The irony in this is we never have had a McDonalds or Wendy’s fire people because they are shutting down and moving to Pakistan!