Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A Shining Moment

I woke up this morning, looked at the beautiful sunrise and realized something that i should have seen many years ago.....I Have A Great Life. I have always gauged success and happiness on the things we have, which i think many people do. Materialistic thinking is such an "American" problem that takes away from family bonding and real friendships.

Looking at the sun coming over the trees and warming up the cool morning air a feeling came over me, an uninvited smile crept from my lips and made me feel light, happy and grateful. I have the most wonderful wife that works hard, understands life better than I and keeps "our" life together. Yes we have problems and go through difficult times but isn't that what real life is all about. I think divorce is made way too easy for people to just get out when the going gets tough. Marriage, love, sex, understanding, giving, taking, laughing, crying, arguing....the list goes on and on but it is what makes being with someone special. Sharing life with someone else and giving yourself to that person ( not just sexually) is such a great feeling.

I am as rich as anyone can be in life and yet i have no wealth. I have three children that are healthy, they may not do or be as i wish but was I the child my parents "blue-printed". I adore my two grandchildren but only see one of them almost daily. My wife is a strong, smart, sensible and very loving. I am blessed with such a beautiful person for whom I would be lost without. We have been together for 24 years and married for almost 23. I cannot imagine my life without her and never want to find out. I love her with all my heart. The sun this morning not only kissed the day hello but it shined upon me and opened my eyes.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Happy Birthday Jeff

Today would have been Jeffery Byron Carter's 48th birthday, he was my cousin that was more like a brother. Jeff was born a week before me in 1962. We had always lived close to each other and grew up like brothers. We always hung out with each other and had the same friends. Jeff took his own life in 1985, i was stationed in Long Beach, California while serving in the U.S. Navy. I received the phone call from my father on the ship. The ship was in port, but to get a call on the ship i knew something was wrong. Jeff's death has had more of an affect on my life than i realize. I have and still do wonder why and if I could have prevented it. I wonder what kind of a person he would be today, where would he be, what would he be doing and would we still be close. Some day I hope to see Jeff again and my heart and mind can heal. I loved him like a brother and miss him tremendously. Happy Birthday Buddy !!!