1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want.. God is watching the apples.'
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Well the Winter Olympics have begun and i have to say the hype is more than the actual feeling anymore. I remember back in the 70's when the Olympics meant so much more than what they seem to mean now. The USA and Russia were in a Cold War and the Olympics took the place of killing each other. Country pride was overwhelming, the athletes "spoke" for their nation with bravery and patriotism. The Olympics were a family event in which families sat and watched and cheered (out loud) for their countries athletes. It seemed we knew the names of our athletes and where they were from. Nowadays things are different. Back then the athletes from other countries were actually from there and lived there, today a lot of the other countries athletes live here in the USA and attend college or work here but they represent their "homeland". I don't think that's right and i feel it should not be done in this fashion. Are they citizens of the USA ? If they attend college here than how does that work ? Do they get financial aid here or pay taxes ? I never really thought about any of this until now. Olympics are mostly about money and i think that's sad. There are a lot of great athletes but if you leave your country to better your life than you basically gave up on it and why would you represent it if you left it. I am cynical about things like this but its who i am.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
This morning i awoke to a snow covered landscape, such a beautiful sight. There is something about the snow that puts a smile on my face. Is it the memories of childhood or just the pure whiteness of the snow ? Watching snow flakes fall from the sky is special, the way they dance all the way down to join the rest of the fallen flakes, to me its very beautiful. Living in North Texas we see snow just about every year but its usually only one to three inches at a time. I remember as a kid in Levittown, Pennsylvania playing in the snow making snowmen. Making snow forts and having snowball fights with my friends. As a grown up snow is different, its now a burden and not as fun as it once was. I still enjoy walking in the snow and watching my grandsons eyes light up as he touches the cold white stuff. Snow to me is still a wonderful sight.....
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Walt Carbliss is the main character in my book. He grew up in the mountains of Western Maryland in a small town called Deep Creek Hollow. He faced many obstacles growing up due to the fact that he was born with only a partial left arm. His life consists of hiding in the woods and daydreaming about being someone else and hunting adventures. Life changes for him when an accident takes him away from his home and into the arms of the Shawnee Indians. Walt discovers he is not what the "white" kids thought of him but that he was a very special kid in the eyes of the Indians. Walt grows up learning about what life, love and friendships are really about. Tragedy later in life sends him deep into the unforgiving mountains to live life the only way he knows......alone.